My Sister's House Shelter and Support for Victims of Family Violence


Home About Intimate Partner Violence About Sexual Assault Services and Programs How You Can Help & Safety Tips Teens Our Resale Store A Second Season How to Donate And Our Wish List Volunteer Opportunities Helpful Links General Information	About Intimate Partner Violence
	What is Intimate Partner Violence? Intimate partner violence is about power and control. If someone is physically, verbally and mentally abusing you or forcing you to have sex against your will, there is help... Recognizing Forms of Abuse: Physical: hitting, slapping,pushing, kicking, spitting, biting, holding you against your will, strangling, use of weapon, isolating you. Verbal / Emotional : calling you names, putting you down, threatening to kill you or your children, threatening to leave with the children, threatening to harm pets, etc. Sexual: forcing you to have sex against your will; forcing you to engage in unwanted sexual activity Spiritual: using religious text out of context and using it in a self-serving way; not allowing you to practice your faith Any abuse is bad. There is no such thing as "deserving it" or "asking for it". Both women and men can be victims. The Cycle of Abuse Abuse in many violent relationships occurs in a pattern: Tension-building. The abuser becomes frustrated and angry. The abuser may swear at, criticize, or threaten the victim. During this time, the victim feels the need to keep peace in the relationship and may minimize the incidents. Violence. Tension builds to the point where physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse occurs. Making up. The abuser may apologize for his/her actions, bring gifts, or promise to change. The abuser may make excuses, blame the victim for causing the abuse, or deny that the abuse took place. The abuser may ask for another chance. The victim may believe that the abuse will stop. In most relationships, the cycle of abuse happens many times. The abuse does not stop. Often, it happens more frequently and may become more severe. Over time, the make up period disappears. Myths & Facts about Intimate Partner Violence Myth: People who are abused probably deserve it. Fact: No one deserves to be abused. Victims do not cause their partners to be abusive. Myth: Low-income, minority women are abused most often? Fact: Domestic abuse can happen to anyone. Women of all ages, races, education levels, economic levels, and religions are abused. Myth: Children aren't harmed that much unless they are also beaten or abused. Fact: Children who witness abuse suffer emotional abuse, even if they are not physically abused. They suffer anxiety, depression, behavior and emotional disturbances. Children who grow up in abusive homes are more likely to drop out of school, abuse others, or become victims of abuse. Know the FACTS: Domestic violence is the single greatest cause of injury to women in the United States . Violence against an intimate partner is a crime in all states. Every day an estimated four (4) women are killed by their husbands, boyfriends, or ex-partners. No one deserves to be beaten, threatened, or humiliated. Abuse is wrong. It is not part of a normal, healthy relationship. It is NOT the victim's fault. Everyone has the right to live without fear and violence. The violence will become worse over time. Battering is not a result of poor anger management skills, or drug & alcohol use. Batterers abuse because they choose to be abusive. Intimate partner violence follows a cycle. After the abusive episode comes the apologies. After a while, there is no make up period - just violence. Intimate partner violence is a crime.
	Take the Test Look at your current relationship and honestly answer these questions.
	Are you or your children afraid of your partner? Do you sometimes lie to your family and friends to cover up your partner's abusiveness? Do you have to be careful of what you say and do when you are with your partner so he/she doesn't get angry? Does your partner constantly criticize you despite your efforts to please him/her? Does your partner embarrass you in front of your family or friends? Does your partner put down your accomplishments or goals? Does your partner threaten you, grab you, shove you, or hit you? Does your partner check up on you, such as setting time limits on your trips to and from the store and other places you visit? Does your partner prevent you from spending time with your family or friends?	Do you stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up? Does your partner unjustly and repeatedly accuse you of having affairs or flirting? Does your partner not allow you to earn or keep your own money? Has your partner ever abandoned you in a dangerous place? Has your partner ever destroyed your personal property or other sentimental items? Does your partner manipulate you with lies and threats? Are you beginning to believe all the terrible things your partner accuses you of and says about you?
	If you answered, "yes" to just one of these questions, you may be a victim of domestic violence.